Well it has been a very interesting week in the sports world and in my life in general. Most of the big stories in sports are pretty much media hype bullshit, I could care less about the pennant race since none of my teams are in it although I kinda hope the braves choke to the stro's so they can win only because I always liked clemens. Football is pretty tame this week too with only two games I care about. I am pretty confident the gators will win but 13.5 favories is a bit steep if you ask me. We have only beaten bama once at home so I am very fearful of this game. Theonly other game I remotely care about is the sunday night game only because it will be the first time my fianceee has watched an entire pro game. Ive been trying to get her to watch football and I finally got her to watch almost the entire fla UT game the other week. She didn't die so she said she owuld watch the bears the next time they are on. I always find that I am somewhat bummed out when the bucs don't play even though i know they desperately need a week off to prepare gradkowski.

It sucks knowing that only one of my teams is pretty much a lock to win and that game isnt even on tv. Fucking arsenal. They had better beat charlton because I know motherwell is going to get killed at killie. Im glad that I have shit to do most of the day today and tomorrow so i dont even pay attention. Now there is one thing that is a bit disconcerting and I will only say this once because i hate the guy and what he is doing to my dads team. I hate TO and this whole media hoopla surrounding him. He is a cancer and now his suicidal tendencies or whatever are causing problems. I am not happy and my dad is about ready to keel over and die he is so pissed off.

IN the real world that is my life it has been hectic as hell. My new probation officer is like shaft i fear and he alreadyhas it out for me. I am so far behind on my payments that I will most likely have to go to prison because I drove on suspended license. Talk about fucked up laws. I would have gotten less time if i had been drunk that what i got going to 7-11 to pick up medicine for my girl. Fuck this entire state and their legal system. IF all goes well I should be moving out of this state at the new yr. I think atl is where iwill go but maybe chicago i dont know yet. The woman wants chicago since that is where she is form and my parents think i would liek it there. I just really dont know.

One thing I have found to be funny or at least a source of amusement is my job. I work at this little cajun restaurant in downtown orlando. we have this total dipshit who couldnt find his ass with both hands who cooks there. well tomorrow night it is the trivium show at the House of blues. Well when that dumbass gets in the pit i am going to knock him senseless. That has been the source of amusement at my job for the last week. We all hate this guy. The hardest part of my job is getting up to go to work because i have to work with this total douchebag. The shit that sucks is that two of the guys there are among the nicest coolest guys ive ever had the privilefdge to work with and one of them might be quitting. I knwo they will never read this so i can talk about my man crush. not really a man crush but just that the two of them have so much in common with me that it is like we have known each other for yrs. Funny thing is we hugn out in the same circles in college yet none of us ever met. Half the staff at this place was in gainesville during the second half of the 90's and none of us ever ran into each other. Well the one bartender we have i did get some drinks form a few times but never realized we knew each other til a few months into working together. Life is funny like that i guess. Well i have to go get ready to go do some community service which totally sucks ass.

So my buddy matt calls me up this morning while I am at work to tell me that he heard on the radio that the bucs brought in shaun king for a tryout. Now I thought he was the third stringer for the colts but I might be wrong. Still it reminds me of one of my most favorite sporting moments. A while back (like ten yrs) my little brother monty played football at clearwater centrla catholic in st pete. He is like 6'5 built like a tight end. His team had to play gibbs which was qb'ed by king. Well my brother had one of those magical nights where he was really getting good penetration. ON this one play he hit shaun so hard that his helmet flew off and he was stumbling about like he had his bell rung. The funyn thing is that I don't even remember the score or who won although any team that had my little brother probably lost because they were probably all fucked up before the game which brings me to another funny story involving my little brother and our high school wrestling team.

I went to Northside Christian( home of lasting milledge) we were in our second year of wrestling and most of the guys on the team were a bunch of drunk stoners who did it because we had violent tempers and loved to fight. Some of us were good, some like me tried as best as we could but pretty much sucked. I always got bumped to the empty weight class to pick up the forfeit. When i did wrestle I preferred to hurt people on purpose with butt drags and vicious crossfaces that would bring blood. I didn't care if I won so long as I inflicted pain. Well we had a match one night against berkely prep which at the time was pretty good. About ten of us decided that day at school that we should go get some liquor before the match to get good and rowdy. Well my little brother is like 14 at the time and we had him go up to some guy and ask him to buy us liquor. this old guy really believed his story that my parents sent him up to the store because they were too drunk to drive. The old guy bought us a half gallon of albertson's tequila. this shit was pure rotgut and we got so drunk that my friend ken who was driving puked out the window as we rolled into the parking lot of where we wrestled. More disturbing though was the fact that there was a hair in our liquor which is pretty fucking gross.

We had some good times back then me and my little brother. It is a shame I don't get to hang out with him as much anymore. Still he got his gf pregnant and before he knew it he had a wife and two great kids and he was all wrapped up in that while I was having fun going to grad school bangin anything with a pulse and drinking my way towards a new liver. He was my partner in crime and now I am flying solo. Those were the days.

Unbelievable how bad the bucs luck is. Granted they suck ass this year and are probably going ot be int he running for the top pick but after today and what happened to simms I have to say we have no chance at even four wins. I have to give simms credit as he had some balls to keep playing with a ruptured spleen. I even felt bad for badmouthing him and saying he needed to seperate his non throwing shoulder but this is a bit more that i was hoping for. IM so heartbroken after that amazing comeback we had and so pissed at grudens ineptitude to call a bomb on 3rd and 5 with two minutes left. What was he thinking. IM justat a loss for words.

Thank god all my other teams won. the gators obviously took care of business and I think tim tebow is going to be pretty good next year. the defense could have been better but im not going to complain as i could have seen us having abig letdown after that win in knoxville. I hope we were looking ahead now to bama as I want to destroy them so I can give my boss shit.

Arsenal won 3-0 even without theirry henry which is pretty cool except for my fantasy team. Finally motherwell got a draw to rise to having four points ont he season. Shit they could go on a tear and win two games and be back in the mix to not get dropped.

This mornign on dan shanoof's blog i made a comment about louiville reminding me of a funny joke well here it is. These two rednecks from fla are going upt o t lexington for the uk game. When they stop at a gas station they ask the attendant how they pronounce the state capital. the first redneck says it is louis-ville while the other says it is lou-a-vul. The attendant says I don't know where you learned your geography but round these parts we pronounce it frankfurt. That joke reminds me of the horrible education system in florida and how much i hate the simple minded folks of kentucky. My finacee and I used to have a roomie from lexington and if she wasnt telling me how Uk bball was the best thing since sliced bread she was tellign me how great things were up in kentucky. There is nothig better than telling that bitch to go fuck herself after the gators demolish them in any sport.

Fucking gators. Man they look like shit. However I have to say that the first touchdown of the game is my early favorite for play of the year. Granted it doesn't have any serioius implications because ofit but it was still pretty fucking cool. I read a stat somewhere that chris leak is only the second qb at uf to lead his team to five straight wins over the big three evil teams(ut, uga, fsu) He is tied with golden boy danny. Even st steven couldn't do that. I got to tell you, rich brooks is doing a great job at UK against us. They are moving down the field at will and I really can't believe they can move the ball that well. More to come later as i drink my sorrow away.

Reflecting on the past weekends sporting events is always a bit of a letdown. I put so much energy into my teams yet what do I get in return? Nothing but heartache it seems. I am so incensed at how little effort the bucs are putting forth this yr that I am seriously considering not watching them. We haven't shown this little passion since the glory days of leeman bennett and sam wyche. I am so disappointed that I don't even want to waste my time writing about them. The devil rays aren't much better. They have lots of young talent but a coach who sucks. At least the ownership is trying to invest in some talent so that we can win. Id love to see a dmitri and delmon young 3/4 punch. You know we would win every bench clearing brawl with those two thugs. But we have to contend with the fucking spankme's and the sux and the blowjays. The orioles are just as pathetic as we are so they escape my ire. Thank god for my gators and their win on saturday. It was such a high watching them win that game but watching the bucs just brought me back down. So I decided to check out the European football leagues to see how my teams were doing. The shitty part about not having cable is not being able to see football from abroad before I watch our football. I miss watching arsenal make their run to an undefeated season which I think is infintely more difficult that what the 72 dolphins did. I guess it is a good thing to not have cable though because I don't see how shitty my football teams are. At least arsenal won and they are doing well in the champions league. Domestically they suck and are lucky to be midtable. I have a feeling that froggy wanker is pissing people off in the clubhouse. I guess I am getting this bad vibe from all the defections of the past few years. Viera, Sol, Ashley, reyes being a bitch. I think they are going to go back to the mediocrity of the 80's when i first fell under their spell.

Motherwell on the other hand is plain awful. They are like a division III football team taking on the cowboy teams of the mid 90's. They field a team of players whose average age is like 12 judging by all the peach fuzz on their faces. I can't believe they actually won a game a few weeks back. I know they will be relegated this yr making up for not getting shitcanned three yrs ago. It is a sad state of affairs in the southwest. How the mighty have fallen. Well not that they were ever really mighty although that title in 89 sure seems a long time ago. If only two yrs ago we had killed those fenian bastards. Oh well I guess I am doomed to loving teams that truly suck. Sometimes I think I will wake up one day and realize that the little bit of glory the gators have had was really just a long dream and that in fact I was in a coma and was imagining the whole thing. There is no way the bucs actually won a super bowl right. Did the gators really beat FSu for a national championship? No way in fucking hell.

What an interesting day of football. My bucs absolutely blow donkey dick this yr. Chris simms is a total bitch ass trick who will never make it in this league. Bring in gradkowski. I think it is the curse of the bucs to never have an offense. We just can't do shit right now and I really can't see us doing any better than 6-10. The only other game I could bear to watch was the boys at the redskins and I was relieved the boys won. The only reason I am a boys fan is because of my dad. When his stepdad adopted him his last name was changed to cooper. Back in the 70's there was an offensive guard for the boys named james cooper(same name as my dad) so in my childish mind I thought my dad was the same guy who played for the cowboys. My dad is a huge boys fan regardless because he respected the tom landry style of football. I just liked how how the boys were america's team. Then they sucked but I still supported them and I have never liked jerry jones because of what he did to tom landry. Then they drafted the best football player to ever come out of florida and they won three super bowls on his ballroom dancing coattails. Ever notice how in general if you played football at florida you won't do much in the NFL. A hundred years of football and I can maybe count ten players who could be considered successes in the NFL. By success I don't just mean hold a roster spot but actually be a contributing allstar caliber player. Wes Chandler, Emmitt, and Jack Youngblood without question but after that it gets a bti muddled. Lomas brown should be considered due to his longevity. Of all those great teams of the 90's the defense is where any noticeable talent was. Alex brown, lito sheppard, mike peterson are all above average players but it is too soon to tell if they will make the grade. Ike HIlliard was ok as was errict rhett but nothing special. Doug johnson is a career backup and maybe rex grossman might be good if he doesnt sprain his pussy. It is sad that out of all the state colleges we rank last in the number of quality pros in the nfl. Even worse is that the last impact player to come from our school left for the nfl almost 20 yrs ago. Conversely FSU and Miami have pumped major talent into the league on a yearly basis. it really fucking pisses me off.

is it just me or is there nothing better than mick hubert saying "OH MY" whenever the gators score. Even better is when he goes Dallas Baker Touchdown Maker. I could hear those sweet words til the day I die and never get tired of them. What an amazing game. I could'nt believe that the gators actually won. Even more suprising was picking the final score. I actually won something for once. I miss spurrier as a coach because he would almost always cover the spread and you always took the over. I am too scared to bet on the gators anymore. Who thought that headfake by leak in the second half on the option was amazing. That guy couldn't sell a glass of water to a guy burning in hell but he sure sold that fake. I can't wait to get rid of him. He has got to be the whitest black guy ever. I think the old uf president lombardi was refering to hime when he made him infamous oreo comment. NOW we get to relax and play kentucky.. I just hope we dont look ahead to alabama.

How about the end of that oregon game. I like the ducks. Mostly because they are from a state where smoking pot isnt a big deal but you also have to respect a team named the ducks. Granted those uniforms suck ass but they are cool colors and you got to love the name the quack attack. Sounds like a bad disney cartoon.

I missed most of the miami game but I guess I didn't miss much seeing how badly they quit. When did miami become a team that just rolls over and plays dead? My buddy rob thinks it started about ten seconds into last yrs peach bowl. The really need to get rid of uncle fester as their coach. Even better is FSU losing the bowden bowl. I love watching the bowden family reunions. There is nothing more satisfying that watching 25 yrs of hard work go down the drain because the boss man is too proud to step down. The game has passed bobby by and I think he is losing touch with the players. I hope he sticks around for another ten yrs so we can beat up on him some more.

Lastly I am very disappointed in UCF. They had that game and they gave it away. I can't wait to roll by the practce facilities this week and watch o'leary make those boys run. They still looked better than miami and fsu though.

NOw if only my bucs can win today i will be in hog heaven. MY buddy tyler is a huge ron mexico fan. He is asshole who drafts vick for no reason other than liking him because he went to tech. He wanted me to draft him in the first round of our fantasy league. what a moron. I will offer you some pics but they will most likely be wrong. take the bucs, the bears, the bills, the broncos and the boys. actually dont take the bills they suck. Take the panthers. There is no way they suck that much.

I am so antsy about tomorrow's football games. There are a lot of games that interest me even if I don't like th eteams involved. Case in point would be miami and louisville. I dont really like miami and I could care less about louisville but I want to see how UL play without bush. I want to see if miami sucks as bad as they did against FSU. Speaking of the semenholes I hope that jeff kicks pops ass. I love the look on daddies face when his boys whup his ass. Another game that interests me is UM ND only because my cousin went to UM for law school so I root for them out of family loyalty. UL by 2, CLEM by 5, ND by 10

Although no one really cares, I can't wait to watch the UCF USF game. I think that USF is now a renegade program full of cracked out thugs. UCF on the other hand is building a strong team with character and intelligence. I don't care if O'leary killed and raped a hundred women. He knows how to win in almost impossible situations and he will not stoop low to cheat like other coaches. I really don't like UCf football but since i went to grad school there I have a soft spot for them. Since I am from the bay area I also have a slight interest in USF since it is somewhat the hometown college. I think that UCf wins by ten.

The sec has a bunch of great games but vandy arkansas is not one of them. I think that is the jefferson pilot game of the week. I would rather watch figure skating than that game. I hate how candy always plays the gators tough. I am convinced culter is going to succeed in the NFL because all those guys who went to Vandy are smart as hell. I figure they can beat Houston Nutts in your mouth's rabid swine. BAMA is playing whatsamatter U and my boss Fluffy thinks it will be a 28 point blowout but you never know.

Of course there is the big game at 8. I think it is interesting how younger gator fans consider this game to be the bigest sec rivalry for us. IM only 32 but maybe it is because my dad went to UF or my mom and her side of the family are dawg fans but I recognize the dawgs as our number one rival. Three words "Run Lindsay Run" still give me nightmares. I remember one year I think when eric zeier was the qg and he had like ten shots at the endzone at the end of the game and the gator D held him. Tennessee has only been a big rivalry since spurrier was around. We pretty muc owned them for yrs and now it is a tossup. I think that the speed on the gators will kill them and with their injuries it is going to be really hard to slow the gators. I wouldn't be suprised if they won by 28 while I also wouldn't be suprised if we lost a 9-6 game. Urband cryer hasn't shown me that he can win big games yet as we tend to play flat in important games. He needs to come out on the first play of the game and air it out. I can't wait for chris leak to get done with his eligibilty so that we can run all over the opponents with tim tebow and percy harvin. Those guys are already living up to the hype. Maybe leak could live up to the hype if he would be used to maximize his abilities. He looks great when you let him air it out so just let him throw it fifty times a game. Im going with the gators 21-20 in a nailbiter that comes down to dallas baker touchdown maker getting a 75 yrd td catch with a minute left to seal the deal. Fuck tennessee.

On a totally different note, I went to see this band Valient Thorr tonite at the BackBooth in orlando. These guys are crazy. The singer got up on the balcony and wound up jumping into the crowd. i got all cut up because some asshole got beer spit in his face and he started swinging on everyone so someone popped him in the head with a bottle ad i got all cut up form the broken glass. The singer in Valient Thorr says that he is willing to die for rock and roll and I wouldnt be suprised if he did. He is like a gg allin jr. Basically no fecal matter, rape or gratuitous drug use but still a little tornado on stage. he made this quote before one of the songs. "Yesterday i was riding a triceratops when i cut off its head and used it as a shield so that I could create rock and roll. This happened in the cavemen times in the 1400's." Absolutely amazing singer. Definitely check them out if you get a chance.

Since I had to create an account to post to D.S.'s column and I write 5000 word commentaries for my fantasy football league each week I figured I should throw my hand in the ring so to speak. I reserve the right to talk about whatever I want but mostly Im going to shoot the shit about sports with a little music and pop culture thrown in. These are the things that I hold dear to my heart: Gators(class of 99),Bucs, Lightning, Storm, Rays, Arsenal, Motherwell, Trailblazers, Cowboy's( long story but I liked them when they used to be good before they sucked and got good again), Braves, and the Scottish national teams in rugby and footie. I would rather be raped repeatedly by a sex offender with aids than support any of the following: NYY-spankmees, BOs - red sux, NYM - mutts, blowjays, semenholes, WASH - foreskins, UGA - puppies, UT - volunqueers, and pretty much anyone who is playing my teams.

One thing that really pisses me off and I have no idea what to do about it. I am a diehard bucs fan. Even though I grew up in southern california before moving to scotland and eventually settling in st pete, I was always a bucs fan. Maybe it was I played on a peewee football team called the bucs or I always wondered why Bucco Bruce was winking (sometimes I think it is an inside joke that the bucs aren't really a pro football team) but I love them. Even though their owners have both been enormous dickheads I support them blindly because they own my team. I have also been a huge arsenal fan since I moved to scotland in 86. Something about the name gunners was cool to me then. As a gunner fan I detest Manchester United or as I like to refer to them "The Great Red Menace". Should I bring a sign to the next bucs game I attend saying fuck the glazers and the great red menace or do I silently hope he sells the Bucs to someone who will bring in a GM with a clue and a coach who isn't a joke. The glazer's are total douchebags. I mean they let one of the best GM's in all of sports leave and I wouldn't be suprised if they go another decade of ten plus losses.